Saturday, September 17, 2011

Top 5 Reasons to Date A NERD!


Yet another post aimed at the LADIES. I'm gonna cut right to the point:

STOP trying to date the guys who look like they just walked off of the cover of an Abercrombie magazine! Aside from the disgusting ego given to them by a visually driven society, they've got a plethora of other reasons why they don't have to treat you right. This is why we're gonna switch gears, take off our swimmer line tunnel vision, and go for the NERDS!

Yep, you heard me...

Now, we're not talkin' the guy who pops on the XBOX every now n' then and plays a crappy sport game. We're talking the REAL gamers; the ones who enter tournaments, join online guilds, and spend HOURS in front of their computer screens - desks laden with snacks and empty bottles of Coke....Those gamers.

Why do I lead you down this path of potential body odor and acne, you ask? Listen while I give you the top 5 reasons to date a nerdy gamer (In no particular order):

1. Inexpensive - If there's one thing that couples fight about, it's money; and gaming is one of the least expensive hobbies around! Currently, the most popular and expensive online video game is World of Warcraft. The monthly subscription caps at only $15 a month (Not to mention FREE online video games...) Compared to collecting cards, golfing, gambling, carpentry, repairing old cars, etc...Gaming is a STEAL. There should be plenty of money left over at the end of the month to wine you, dine you, and buy you all those little things that make you feel special.

2. Line of Sight - If your boyfriend is at home playing video games, he's NOT out sleeping with someone else! There will be no Tiger Woods, "golfing late" shenanigans - his hobby is right in front of you! All you have to do is walk into the den, he'll be the one punching his computer screen...

3. Availability - While I do not encourage or support bothering a gamer while he's in the middle of a quest, he IS available to help you if you need it. Other boyfriends can't exactly come home from the poker room to help you move the couch, but if this one is just on his computer, you can probably convince him to step away for a second to adhere to any gender biased request you give him.
Moreover, he doesn't have any real life friends! There will be no more ditching you for his homies - all of his friends live in other cities. You'll definitely find yourself in a hoes before bros situation.

4. Less Competition - A nerdy gamer status, without question, makes a guy less appealing to women; BUT, if you can be the first to take the plunge, there will for sure be less women you'll have to fight off of your man! Also, the nerdy guy has probably just had less partners in general; ie, less STDs, psycho exes, and illegitimate children to worry about...

5. Limited Options - Conversely, the nerd realizes that his options are limited. Once he's snagged a babe like you, he'll think twice before he messes things up. He'll treat you right, take care of you, protect you, and be endlessly caring. AND, even if he has a wandering eye, his chances of success are far below your typical stud - so no worries.

Now, I was discussing this prospect with a lady friend of mine. Her vision of the nerdy guy I was trying to paint was making her instantly reject my proposal; lice, a weight problem, and chair sores...

(The chick who took this picture wasn't listening...)

I'm not talking about the untouchables here! Come on...Everyone has to have SOME kind of standard. I'm talking your average guy, not too hot, not too cold, juuuuust right - like the porridge... Kinda like this...

(Rock on McDonalds, hot, turtle riding guy...)

Maybe you trade some abs and a movie star smile, but you get a guy who puts you first, spends time with you, and treats you well. Worth it, right?!

Actually, that wasn't a question - I'm telling you...Worth it.

-CleverAlias