Co-ping Is Not A City In China

One minute things are going fine, then BAM.... you get the boot. Being broken up with suuuuucks. You probably should have seen it coming, and even if you did, it hurts just the same when it's really over. They might tell you they're sad too, and they probably are, but it's ALWAYS worse for the person who got the can...Always.

As a guy whose been broken up with a lot... (I should probably examine that for some consistencies...) I've developed quite a list of great strategies to start to feel better and cope with my loss...Maybe they can help you too!

Exercise - This is a personal favorite. I'm never in better shape than when I'm completey heart broken. There's nothing like a heart shattering breakup to put you back in the best shape of your life. Not only is it a physiological certainty that cardiovascular excercise will release endorphins that will make you feel good, but it also ups your stock for all the new tail you're chasing. Which leads us to our next strategy...

Be a total whore - Ok, not a TOTAL whore... Always pregnancies and STDs to worry about, but start planting those seeds, people! Ever hear that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else? Every popular saying has its place in the circle of life. Just keep your dirt on the DL, and you never know, one of those seeds could grow into your next plant!

Occupy your mind - I sort of wanted to avoid this as a category, since technically you could fit everything here.. But this includes books, video games, your dog, an instrument, television, a vacation, a new hobby, anything that takes your mind off the one you've lost. Drown yourself in your work, or school studies. There's not a semester that's gone by where I've been heart broken that hasn't been followed by straight A's.

Reconnect - Reconnecting with friends is a great way to start feeling better quickly. It occupies your mind, and refills all of the time you used to spend with your significant other. When you start dating someone, you start spending an inordinate amount of time with them- to the point where you almost can't remember what you used to do before they were in your life... You used to have friends dummy! Good friends will understand why they got ditched in the first place, and will be there to pick up the pieces when you need them.

Service - A great way to forget about your own problems is to worry about someone elses. Volunteer at the Red Cross or an animal shelter... You're worried about your ex? This dude's HOUSE just burned down!

Cut all ties - This is usually where everyone fails miserably. They never completely let go, or let the breaking up process last for MONTHS! Just cut the chord. Every time you respond to a text, read an email, or answer a call, the wound opens back up. Hope re-enters, you get back together for five minutes then break up again... Just end it! The sooner you're done for good, the sooner you can start feeling better. And if you're the breaker-upper, stop being selfish and let them get better... you left them, remember?

("Hello? Yep, still miss you so bad I want to die....Thanks for checking.")

Stop worrying about what they're doing, or leaving your phone unattended for hours in hopes that you'll return to a text from them. Stop checking their Facebook. Stop wishing they would call, and stop wasting your time thinking about them...You're not doing yourself any favors. It's not like they're not sitting around moping about you...They're probably out on a date with someone else right now.

Ceremonies - Some might think this is immature, but closure is effective. Delete their phone number if you have to, remove them from journal entries, burn pictures, destroy old gifts, pee on the shirt they left at your house... Whatever ceremonial function you think is going to help you feel better, probably will!

Unfortunately, sometimes people look in the wrong places for happiness. Always avoid drugs, alcohol, Sara Mclachlan, and sharp objects. There are definitely healthy ways to deal with your issues.

And remember, even if you don't employ any of these tactics, the most effective of all will occur naturally... Time.

Time always makes everything better. Just gotta hang in there.

Cope <3

-Clever Alias

The One

This is your chance. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you walk away and go back to your life of roguish and destructive relationship tendencies. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland, and find out just how far down the rabbit hole this relationship goes.

Because that's what meeting her is like, it's like taking the red pill and waking up from a nightmare. A nightmare of uncertainty, tension, drama, heart ache, and terrible physical chemistry.

She's, "The One".

"The One" makes you feel secure. Not only does she stroke your ever important and regrettably large ego, she also makes sure you know exactly how she feels about you. There aren't any games - You aren't on edge worrying about how she feels, because you can already tell how she feels....and she tells you.

"The One" makes you forget ALL about previous heartbreak, because when you're with her, nothing else matters. She's great - you couldn't ask for, or need anything else. Her company alone is enough to forget that other women even exist.

"The One" has the power to drown out any other options you might have in your life. Other girls you might have liked, or liked you, totally pale in comparison. They slowly become background noise - until you turn them off completely so that you can give your full attention where it starts to matter the most.

"The One" seems perfect in almost every way. Your infatuation blinds you to any and all of their flaws...Nothing they could tell you about their past would make you judge them or hold them in a negative light. You completely accept them for who they are, or want to be.

"The One" makes you consider marriage or a serious relationship, in spite of your vows to live a fast life full of solitude, women, video games, and your dog. You almost can't believe it when the thought of moving in together, or of what you might name your first child crosses your mind. WTF? Have I gone soft?! Yes....Yes, you have.

You don't play the stupid games you used to play with all of the other girls, because you actually care about this one's feelings. In fact, hurting this one would go against everything you stand for as a man. You're supposed to protect and care for women, especially this one if you're going to call her yours.

You jump to her immediate defense when you feel she's in harms way. You're in your right mind to snatch the phone out of her hands and tell the ex that keeps calling with an attitude that you'll gladly remove his tongue if he's not careful...

And even if you're a generally negative person, you don't ever show signs of distress or negativity around her. You want to be strong for her. She should feel like she's able to cast all of her burdens on you, without worry that you can't handle it with all of the other things you've got going on in your life. You want to always be her anchor. If something is wrong, you cry by yourself in the other room - If she can't lean on you, who can she lean on?

"The One", unfortunately, also possesses the extraordinary power to hurt you...It's just the risk you run when you think you've found someone special and you let them in...

I once heard that every pot has a lid. Go find the lid that makes you feel this way. Never settle.

Find "The One"

-Clever Alias

P.S. Obviously the male perspective here...The blog is written by a man, get over it.