One minute things are going fine, then BAM.... you get the boot. Being broken up with suuuuucks. You probably should have seen it coming, and even if you did, it hurts just the same when it's really over. They might tell you they're sad too, and they probably are, but it's ALWAYS worse for the person who got the can...Always.
As a guy whose been broken up with a lot... (I should probably examine that for some consistencies...) I've developed quite a list of great strategies to start to feel better and cope with my loss...Maybe they can help you too!
Exercise - This is a personal favorite. I'm never in better shape than when I'm completey heart broken. There's nothing like a heart shattering breakup to put you back in the best shape of your life. Not only is it a physiological certainty that cardiovascular excercise will release endorphins that will make you feel good, but it also ups your stock for all the new tail you're chasing. Which leads us to our next strategy...
Be a total whore - Ok, not a TOTAL whore... Always pregnancies and STDs to worry about, but start planting those seeds, people! Ever hear that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else? Every popular saying has its place in the circle of life. Just keep your dirt on the DL, and you never know, one of those seeds could grow into your next plant!
Occupy your mind - I sort of wanted to avoid this as a category, since technically you could fit everything here.. But this includes books, video games, your dog, an instrument, television, a vacation, a new hobby, anything that takes your mind off the one you've lost. Drown yourself in your work, or school studies. There's not a semester that's gone by where I've been heart broken that hasn't been followed by straight A's.
Reconnect - Reconnecting with friends is a great way to start feeling better quickly. It occupies your mind, and refills all of the time you used to spend with your significant other. When you start dating someone, you start spending an inordinate amount of time with them- to the point where you almost can't remember what you used to do before they were in your life... You used to have friends dummy! Good friends will understand why they got ditched in the first place, and will be there to pick up the pieces when you need them.
Service - A great way to forget about your own problems is to worry about someone elses. Volunteer at the Red Cross or an animal shelter... You're worried about your ex? This dude's HOUSE just burned down!
Cut all ties - This is usually where everyone fails miserably. They never completely let go, or let the breaking up process last for MONTHS! Just cut the chord. Every time you respond to a text, read an email, or answer a call, the wound opens back up. Hope re-enters, you get back together for five minutes then break up again... Just end it! The sooner you're done for good, the sooner you can start feeling better. And if you're the breaker-upper, stop being selfish and let them get better... you left them, remember?
("Hello? Yep, still miss you so bad I want to die....Thanks for checking.")
Stop worrying about what they're doing, or leaving your phone unattended for hours in hopes that you'll return to a text from them. Stop checking their Facebook. Stop wishing they would call, and stop wasting your time thinking about them...You're not doing yourself any favors. It's not like they're not sitting around moping about you...They're probably out on a date with someone else right now.
Ceremonies - Some might think this is immature, but closure is effective. Delete their phone number if you have to, remove them from journal entries, burn pictures, destroy old gifts, pee on the shirt they left at your house... Whatever ceremonial function you think is going to help you feel better, probably will!
Unfortunately, sometimes people look in the wrong places for happiness. Always avoid drugs, alcohol, Sara Mclachlan, and sharp objects. There are definitely healthy ways to deal with your issues.
And remember, even if you don't employ any of these tactics, the most effective of all will occur naturally... Time.
Time always makes everything better. Just gotta hang in there.
Cope <3
-Clever Alias
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